My mother has chopped a roll of paper towels in half.

And now she is counting M&Ms.

Why, I do not know.

Anyway, first day back to school. Bad. Bad.

Also, it is my dog's birthday. He is strange. I think he's a cat. And a rabbit. But if he was a rabbit I would name him Fatso McTubboLard. He's very skinny.

He's just taken a bath.

Now he's eating scrambled egg, because my sister insists that he is, in fact, human.

I could use some convincing.